My Love, My Life
by SincereSilver
Summary: Your life has ups and downs. Your day can start off wonderfully and then end not-so-wonderfully. Sakura realizes that life truly is a roller coaster ride, the hard way.


**Quick Info On Age:**

**Sakura: 25**

**Kakashi: 39**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.**

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_Wait for five minutes after completing test._

Okay. I could do this. Only five minutes to wait until I see the results. …Only five minutes. How much time has passed? Thirty seconds, wonderful. Maybe the clock is wrong. …Thirty-three seconds.

I could see myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror of my bathroom. Wow. I had definitely had better days. My shoulder length pink hair was tousled from running my hands through it much too often. Emerald eyes were blood-shot and I didn't have the energy to gather chakra to get rid of the bags. My vest was wrinkled and my medic skirt wasn't looking much better. …Had it been five minutes yet?

I leaned back against the wooden section below my sink, nervously tapping my fingers. I wonder what Kakashi is doing right now. I hope his mission is going okay. Maybe he's already finished. Maybe he's heading home right now. Maybe he's decided to forgo his Jounin vest, leaving him in only his muscle shirt. His tight…tight…muscle shirt… Okay. No more thinking about Kakashi.

My eyes went back up to the clock. Four minutes… Perfect. One minute left. When had five minutes ever lasted so long? Maybe someone has put some sort of jutsu on Konoha so they could slow down time. Yep, that's it.

Against my will, my eyes drifted back to the clock. Five…four…three…two…one… FIVE MINUTES! I yanked down the rounded rectangular device, covering the small oval section with one finger. Pregnant… two lines. Not pregnant… one line. Ok. I crossed my fingers on my left hand and slowly peeled back my finger covering the section.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked down at the section. One line… two lines… Two pink lines. I was pregnant! I was actually pregnant! Oh, Kami… Kakashi and I were going to have a baby! Oh, just wait until he gets back from his mission! He's going to be so happy! This is going to be great!

I've got to tell someone. I've got to tell someone… now. Who to tell, who to tell… Tsunade first, of course. Then, Ino. Then, Naruto. Okay, but to do that, I have to get off the tiled floor that was no doubt leaving marks in my skin.

I closed Kakashi and I's apartment door thirty minutes later, looking much better, if I do say so myself. I had put on a nice pair of pants, a clean red vest, washed my hair, and added a touch of makeup. I had to look nice to make this announcement. I didn't want to look like I'd just rolled out of bed.

First place to go is the Hokage tower. Now… the quickest route would be… rooftops. Definitely rooftops. With a good amount of chakra to my feet I was off the porch and on the roofs, sailing towards to Hokage tower. News like this just couldn't wait. I skidded as I landed in front of the steps, almost knocking over Izumo and Kotetsu as I did so. "Sorry!" I doubt if they heard my apology, but I could hear their cursing. Oh well, I'd help them pick up their spilt papers later. Maybe.

I stopped to take a deep breath and calm down a bit as I stood outside Tsunade's office. "Come in, Sakura." Okay, no time for calming down, then. I entered Tsunade's office a bit less gracefully than I had intended, stumbling over my own boot. Tsunade didn't comment like she would usually do, in fact, she almost looked solemn. "Tsunade-sama." I bowed politely, barely refraining from stuttering like Hinata. "Sakura… I was just about to call for you." That threw me off. Unless… unless she knew I was pregnant? No. She couldn't. I wasn't even a month along yet. "I have something to tell you." We both spoke at the same time, a strange harmony forming from our two voices. Tsunade nodded, obviously allowing me to speak first. "Tsunade-sama…" My first thought was to be formal and polite about informing her of my condition, but those thoughts quickly flew out the window. "I'm pregnant!" I squealed happily, trying to resist the urge of bouncing up and down like Ino had when she had learned that she was pregnant with the next Akimichi heir. Tsunade's lack of response made my joy trip come to an abrupt halt. "Tsunade-sama?" We're those… we're those _tears_ in her amber eyes?

"Sakura… that's a-amazing. I-I'm very proud." Something was up. Tsunade NEVER stuttered like that. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama. Now, what was it that you needed to tell me?" I regretted speaking the moment the words were out of my mouth. Tsunade's face was contorted with what looked like pain, making her look much older despite her jutsu.

"Sakura… Kakashi was a great ninja. He was one of the best of Konoha, if not the best. He was in line to be the Rokudaime in case Naruto wasn't able enough at the moment." My brow furrowed. Why was she telling me all of this? I already knew these things about Kakashi. We've been married for three weeks, after all. Then, a light bulb went off. "Tsunade-sama, why do you keep using the word 'was' when you're talking about Kakashi? That's past tense." Now I was certain those were tears in her eyes. "Kakashi was an honorable man. It was only fitting that he passed away in honor, while defending his country."

I could see Tsunade's lips moving through impossibly wide eyes, though I couldn't hear anything else. 'Passed away?' Does that mean… No. It couldn't. Kakashi can't be dead. No… I felt my jaw come unhinged as I repeated all of Tsunade's words in my head. That's why she kept using 'was'. Because… because… Kakashi wasn't here anymore… I felt the first few tears come to my eyes. Kakashi's gone… I've got new life forming in me… and Kakashi's life is gone… My legs collapsed beneath me and the tears finally came rushing down my cheeks. …Kakashi's gone… Kakashi's gone… Kakashi's gone… It was a mantra that wouldn't stop repeating in my head. It was like a very painful and slow torture. "NO! NO! NO! He's not gone! He's _not_ gone!" I didn't even realize that I was the person screaming until Tsunade pulled me into her arms from her place beside me. When she had moved beside me, I couldn't tell you. "Kakashi… Kakashi…" My voice came out pitiful and weak, but I couldn't find it inside myself to care.

My love, my life, was gone… forever.

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**A/N: Okay. Lots of you are probably going, "Oh my GOD, you FINALLY get back from moping and you write another angsty one-shot where their love doesn't work out, blahblahblah!" Yep, you're right. This was basically everything that happened to me when I lost my husband. Exact same situation and events, basically. I wrote this just days after I was given the news about my husband, so excuse the suckiness. My heart really wasn't into it, I was just writing to try to get my feelings out. I'm sorry Sakura is out of character, but this was orginally me in the story, I just changed it to be a fanfiction. I don't really want any criticism on this, I'll probably delete it later. No flames, I don't care what your viewpoint is. Read and Review, please!**

**-Silver-**


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